ieatgokudera: EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT SHIT FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
yuppadupp: thewholockgames: districteverthorne: what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too calm down satan Time...
Me after just cleaning my room: Wow, I am never letting my room get messy again!
The next day: has anyone seen my bed
katkinkat: *forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*
meladoodle: do you wonder if god ever thinks ‘woah these humans were kinda a bad idea’
lol-sobbing: *thinks about the future for three seconds* *has a mental breakdown that lasts three weeks*
h0llo: School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick
dontnuts: if you have an outie belly button im sorry
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
candlebud: cuntused: candlebud: people that wish dragons were real are you sure ARE YOU POSITIVE The last one is fake. It’s deathwing from wow. sorry guys you caught me. all of the other pictures are real dragons
rosaparking: people that play the victim when theyve been absolutely horrible to others make me sooo mad
upgraders: upgraders: that feeling you get when you’re angry anger
oomshi: If you go against someone’s opinion on the anonymous option you automatically have no value in your opinion because you don’t even have the confidence to attach your name to your beliefs.
mistercoventry: “Oh, you’re straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot. ;)” Are you suggesting we boil heterosexuals
youkillmypatience: the title of my autobiography is going to be “that’s not how you spell my name”
earthnation: people who have the same name as me are competition
babyferaligator: having to wait for food to cool off is fucking bullshit
jackoffrost: “why yes, it is my time of the month” i roar as i grow fur all over my body. my limbs change shape. i transform into a wolf and howl at the moon and bound away into the woods
littlestbug: poutingly: angryfuckingvegan: Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Milk is not natural. Angryfuckingvegan comes the conclusion that cows are not real and milk does not actually exist i’m imagining him alone in his...
babyferaligator: calumon: my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd that’s not how weed works
andrewestes0: I talk a lot of shit for someone who panics while ordering food at restaurants
cereal9: tylerxvx: cereal9: coreena: all those folks out there that can paint their nails pretty deserve a medal cause I can’t even paint my nails a basic red without getting nail polish on my face. you think you’ve got it bad, I can’t even paint my nails clear without getting red nail polish on my face You think you’ve got it bad, I can’t even walk past Sephora without getting red...
To be or not to be? Bitch I might be– William Shakespeare (via morgan-freemans-voice)
dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
janetdevlinoffic: Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market
adventuresonpaper: I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the books i can’t afford
lonelywhiteasian: i did thing and now i regret thing
fleaz: can someone please make a tumblr for old essays and everyone can just upload their essays and others can steal them for free come on guys
longnightsandterriblefights: siriuslysalvatore: are you ever just reading a book and you come across word that you don’t know how to pronounce so you just go afkjhjdsfsjkdhs in your head when it’s someone’s name and you have to keep doing that for the rest of the book
chafing-nipples: dangermat: when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide that’s pretty fucking metal
burghers: i cant believe i lived through being 12